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A poem: 'Out Loud'

May 15, 2016


A follow up poem to 'Dizzy Spells' ... 


"Out Loud" 

© 2015 - by Kelly Mcaulley


got to think quickly

how to explain this one 

but here it goes

i'm in a full blown panic mode 


stop me if you've heard this one before


its not my fault

there's a difference between an excuse and a lie 

although i prefer to call it a reason


its a long story that happened in a matter of minutes

if you'll just let me explain

i've got a reputation to maintain 


it's been here for more than half my life

though, every now and then, it still catches me by surprise 

i've earned about a dozen names

called a hundred different words

some will come with descriptions

egotistical, drama queen, just about everything in between


its a sickness, an illness

often tough to live with, but thats just me 


i think i've heard this one before

this is the part where i start to complain

and i'd only hope you'd understand my pain


the subject becomes an open invitation to judge my maturity

and pit me against my insecurities

it sounds like a joke 

especially coming from a twenty-something year old 


my blood starts to boil

my eyes blacken from the outside in 

i know exactly what to say

i just don't know where to begin


stop me if you've heard this one before


it's that thing where i do, but i don't 

and you will, but you won't 

shit like this will really work my nerve

like clockwork

round and round in the same position

same old, same old 

so what's so hard about this condition?


i see better in darkness

and when i've reached my farthest, my worst is what works best

emphasize my latest affliction 

just for the sake of dramatic effect


stop me if you've heard this one before

third times the charm

each day begins brand new, im on a mission to start fresh

quit while i'm ahead

and catch my breath

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