With me every single day 🌺 05.01.05 • • You never know what will happen. One minute he was dancing idiotically (making me laugh) in the living room to a song in the movie we were watching called "Joes Apartment". An hour later the first responders are tearing my parents bedroom apartment to rescue him, I heard all of them cause commotion upstairs as I sat in the kitchen watching the clock on the microwave, but it was too late and just like that he was gone. My life changed forever. He was my favorite person. He was the hardest person to shop for on Father's Day because he didn't want anything for Father's Day, just to go out to dinner with us, but he loved being a father. Everyone says their dad is the best but I say mine is the best in the sense that he's the only kind of father I could imagine being mine. I grew up with kids who had shitty fathers or stepfathers and it makes you wonder why a father like mine would have to leave me for the rest of my life and theirs stayed. I try to get creative at Christmas time and get excited to give my presents out but at the same time I have a breakdown when I think of my dad not being around - the dad who'd go all out on our stockings and fill them to the point the seam could've broken .. my mom says it was his favorite part of setting up for Christmas. I miss him scaring the hell out of us with the body bones mask in the dark but making us laugh at the same time. I miss the days seeing him there on the lawn at dismissal with the other parents. I miss annoying him in the car ride belting out The Darkness "I believe in a thing called love" and I miss his impression of "mojo risin'" in LA Woman during car rides. I miss riding the motorcycle with him at sundown during the summer. Most of all I miss talking to him. Its funny though I can't picture him getting old .. and now he'll always be 47 and ill picture him the same. And I always wonder what our life would be like these days ... In an age where everyone takes selfies and funny iphone videos with their dads and I'm just replaying old home movies and telling the same old stories. I wonder what it would be like to share my writing and filmmaking with him .. knowing he'd take the title as my biggest fan and supporter. Much of my drive for it is for him because I know he's some where watching (maybe that's why the paintings and umbrella bag in my apt kept falling😯) .. but I take him with me everywhere now in this tattoo. I love you so much dad. ❤️
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